By Martha A. Simpson, D.O., M.B.A.
Assistant Professor of Family Medicine
Ohio University College of Osteopathic Medicine

“SITUATIONAL DEPRESSION” COMMON REACTION TO CHILD LEAVING HOME

Question: My daughter left for college last week and I am still very sad and weepy about her leaving. While I know that college is a good thing for her, this is very hard on me. How long will this last? Is it normal to feel this way?

Answer: Each parent reacts differently to a child leaving for college. And while it is a joyous and proud occasion to have a child attend college, the change in home life can be very devastating to some people. When your child leaves for school, you suffer a loss. This loss can cause a problem called situational depression.

This type of depression is a reaction to a specific event or series of events that have created a loss in the sufferer’s life. It is a normal reaction to a painful event. Many people suffer this kind of depression when a loved one dies, when they go through a divorce, or when they fail to reach a major goal in their life. An example of this last kind of situation would be an athlete who loses an important sporting match, or in the case of team sports, whose team loses the big game.

When there has been a death or divorce, the adjustment period can last for over a year. In the case of a lost sporting match, the depression can be gone within a day. You should become concerned about a situational depression when your reaction seems out of proportion to the actual painful event itself.
So, it’s normal for you to feel sad for a while about your daughter leaving. But, you should notice some improvement rather quickly. If you don’t, it may indicate that your situational depression is slipping into a full-blown clinical depression that may require professional help.

There are a number of factors that can either lessen or increase the impact of your situational anxiety. For instance, if you have a large family, the impact may be less because you still have other children at home and/or because you’ve been through this experience before. Your reaction may be heightened if this was your first, last or only child leaving for college. Another factor that can impact your reaction is the distance to the college. If she is close enough to see frequently, you may find the separation easier to take than if she will only be home for holidays.

Finally, you may find it easier to cope with your situational depression if you work outside the home. A working parent is often able to recover from this event quicker than a homebound one because while at work the parent can focus on job duties that take his or her mind off of the feeling of loss.

So what should you do? If you have friends who have been through this, ask them what helped them get past the first couple of weeks. Keep in touch with your child. The phone is great. I use e-mail to correspond with my college kids. Indulge yourself in your hobbies if you have them. If you don’t have a hobby, this may be a great time to start one. Join an exercise club. Go out on a date with your spouse.
If, after a few weeks, you don’t seem to be working through this transition in a satisfactory manner, see your family physician. Sometimes a situational depression can become a full-blown clinical depression in people who are prone to depression. The good news is that clinical depression is usually very successfully treated with modern medications.

Family Medicine® is a weekly column. To submit questions, write to Martha A. Simpson, D.O., M.B.A., Ohio University College of Osteopathic Medicine, P.O. Box 110, Athens, Ohio 45701. Medical information in this column is provided as an educational service only. It does not replace the judgment of your personal physician, who should be relied on to diagnosis and recommend treatment for any medical conditions. Past columns are available online at http://www.FamilyMedicineNews.org.