FAMILY MEDICINE® COLUMN
By John C. Wolf, D.O.
Associate Professor of Family Medicine®
Ohio University College of Osteopathic Medicine

NEW WAY OF TALKING MAY HELP READER DEAL WITH JOB STRESS

Question: It seems that everyone is unhappy at the company where I work, including me. My supervisor never stands up for us. All we hear about is how we do things wrong. The talk around the coffee machine is that killing her with an ax would be ruled justifiable homicide in court. Do you have any suggestions for dealing with a stressful workplace without resorting to committing a felony?

Answer: Actually, I'd recommend using a spoon instead of an ax. It hurts more! However, I should point out that implementing this drastic solution, by whatever method, would put you behind bars, perhaps on death row. I suspect that's an even more stressful environment than your workplace!

Seriously, stress in the workplace is a common problem. I see many people who are at wits end because of the emotional burden imposed at work. They often complain about the volume of work, but that rarely is the real problem. It is the emotional tone of the workplace that makes most people complain.

Stress and anxiety at work can be attributed to many causes. The complaints I hear most often ñ- a demanding boss perceived as uncaring or incompetent, an unrealistically heavy work load and troublesome coworkers -ñ have a common thread. Usually underlying these complaints is the realization, either conscious or unconscious, that the individual has reached the limits of his or her coping skills. All attempts to improve the work situation have been unsuccessful, and these unresolved issues cause increasing frustration until the level of anxiety is overwhelming. Performance at work and personal relationships at work and at home begin to suffer.

Some individuals resolve this type of problem by changing jobs. That can work, but usually a similar situation develops at the new job after a while. Then the anxiety builds anew. The proper solution is to improve your problem-solving skills so that you can resolve the present difficult situation. Once things are going better, you can then wisely decide if another employer offers you a more prosperous future.

Your supervisor is probably a lot like you and me in that she is giving her best effort to accomplish the tasks she is assigned to do. Unfortunately, her best isn't meeting your needs. I suggest that you try to resolve the troublesome issues by talking with her again, since I assume you have talked with her before. What I suggest you try differently this time is another style of talking.

It is important that you identify the things that make work difficult for you before you talk to the supervisor. You must be very specific. Clarify, in detail, what causes problems for you and also suggest a better way to deal with each of these problem areas. Now, ask for a meeting with the supervisor to discuss your work issues ñ- don't just stop her when she walks by.

During your meeting, be sure to avoid making general comments like, the work is too hard. Or, I don't like working with Angela. Such generalities often produce an emotional response without providing a clear understanding of the problem. Also remember to focus on changeable behaviors, not on likes, dislikes, appearance or other unchangeable characteristics. It is critical that you avoid using emotionally charged words such as won't, can't, hate, and liar. The work problem can't be rectified by your supervisor without clarifying the specific issues, and making them clear to her is your responsibility.

Remember to stay calm during your meeting, even if the supervisor doesn't see the issues the same way you do. Raised voices rarely resolve problems. If you can't work out a satisfactory solution with your boss, tell her in a calm and pleasant way that you will now present your concerns to her boss.

Hopefully your meeting with the boss will lead to a resolution of the problems. If it doesn't, you'll at least know that you have done all that you can to improve the work environment in your area.

Family Medicine® is a weekly column. To submit questions, write to John C. Wolf, D.O., Ohio University College of Osteopathic Medicine, Grosvenor Hall, Athens, Ohio 45701.